Coming out of a 19-year marriage, I knew how to love, how to sacrifice, how to hold down a household.  But what I didn’t know?

How to date. Not even a little bit.

So, when I moved back to California after a season of living in Oregon, I figured, why not meet up with someone I’d been chatting with online? We’d been talking for months. He seemed nice. A little eager, sure. But I was 37 in age… and maybe 17 in dating years. I didn’t know any better.I remembered him saying he’d been in an accident and was waiting for dental work. Life happens, right? What he didn’t say was that “waiting” meant he had no teeth!

None! Zilch!! Zero!!!

 I pulled up, hugged him politely, and immediately clocked it.

We went to Denny’s.  Because apparently, I like learning lessons in fluorescent lighting! We sat down to order. And this man had the nerve to get a steak.

I blinked. Then blinked again. I couldn’t process it. How do you…..how do you chew?????

And if that wasn’t enough, all through dinner he kept saying:
“I hope you like me.”
“Please like me.”
“I just really want you to like me.”‘

Listen, I didn’t have the heart to break it down in that moment. I was only there out of politeness. I wasn’t ready for any of this. I didn’t know how to date! I for sure did not know how to escape.

So, when he got up to go to the bathroom?  I called my girlfriend so fast. Whispered like I was in a spy movie: “Call me in five minutes and pretend it’s an emergency. Please. I need a way out.”  She did. I stood up, made the most Oscar-worthy “Oh no! I have to go!” face you’ve ever seen and dipped.

And just as I was walking away, this man looked me dead in the face and said:
“You could’ve just said you didn’t like me.”

This ain’t what I meant by ‘soft launch.’

💛 Closing Thoughts

I laugh about it now and trust, it took some time.  But back then, I was overwhelmed, confused, and unsure of myself. That date wasn’t just about him or the steak. It was about me learning boundaries. Me learning that I don’t owe anyone my time or comfort just because I’ve been polite.

It was a crash course in trusting my gut, releasing guilt, and stepping into this new version of me that was still healing, still growing, still unfolding.